Soften Your Heart, Mama

Tonight we will talk about what it looks like to soften our hearts and lean into God’s way, mama. 

Transcript

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Do you ever struggle to want things to go according to your timeline in your way? We're going to talk about that tonight on Midlight Mamas. I felt impressed to look up the word stubbornness today, and I thought about it from a biblical perspective. And stubbornness in the Bible is rarely just being strong-willed. It is almost always pictured as a stiff neck and a hard heart, a refusal to yield or turn or be redirected. So stiff necked is the most common image in the Bible of stubbornness, and God repeatedly describes Israel this way in Exodus 32.9 and Deuteronomy 9 and 6. A stiff neck cannot turn when the shepherd calls or when the path needs to change. And hard-hearted appears alongside of it. In Psalm 95.8 and Hebrews 3:7, 8, and 15. The heart that will not be soft cannot receive correction, comfort, or new direction. In Proverbs is blunt. It says, Whoever remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy. Proverbs 29:1. In Isaiah 48:4 says, I know how stubborn you are. Your neck is an iron sinew, your forehead is bronze. Stubbornness is not the same as perseverance or conviction, mama. Perseverance holds fast to what is true, while stubbornness holds fast to self, to, I want it my way. I want my timing. I want my understanding and my control. And in our lives as mamas, it rarely looks dramatic. It usually just looks ordinary or justified. Insisting the baby must sleep on a certain schedule, even when everything in the moment says otherwise. Refusing help because I should be able to do this myself. Pushing through exhaustion instead of resting when God is clearly inviting us to rest. It's clinging to a parenting method, a routine, or a vision, or how motherhood should look, even when it's crushing you or your baby. Arguing with God or yourself in the middle of the night instead of simply saying, I don't understand, but I trust you in this moment. It is the opposite of Proverbs 3, 5 through 6. Stubbornness leans hard on its own understanding and refuses to submit to the words in all your ways. And Scripture never just says to stop being stubborn. It calls us to the positive opposite. In Deuteronomy 10, 16 and in Jeremiah 4.4, it says, circumcise your heart, cut away the hardness, ask the Lord to make your heart soft again, able to feel conviction, able to receive comfort, able to change direction without shame. And in James 4 and 6, and in 1 Peter 5, 5 through 6, the words humble yourselves are used. You see, it says, God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, and humility is not thinking less of yourself as a mother, is thinking of yourself less. It is the willingness to be wrong, to need help, and to let God rearrange the day. And in Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, it encourages us to yield the small things. Stubbornness, you see, is usually broken in the ordinary moments, not the dramatic ones. Every time you choose to release control of a feeding, a nap, a schedule, a conflict, your own performance, you are training your neck to turn, Mama. Trust is practiced in small yeses. We know that the Bible says to us in these verses, Proverbs 3 5 through 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight. You see, Mama, God knows that we have to trust Him and even the small yeses. This is a humbling episode to record because I know the level of my own stubbornness. I know that I want things my way often, even if I code it in a only if it's your will, God, kind of a prayer. But often I am reminded that the Lord knows better, that the Lord is in control, and that if I yield to his way, it always goes so much better. When I find myself allowing that feeling to creep up that I need it my way, I get to be very sensitive to what does God want instead. I'm quick to set down my way and pick up God's way because I have just experienced in my life that it's worth it. It is worth it to set aside my will and pick up what God wants for me instead. Because He is doing something. And we talked about that the other night when we talked about patience and trusting God because He's doing something. It's the same with our stubbornness. This is a hard one maybe to listen to. It's even harder to speak to the world because stubbornness can feel so ugly. Like once you realize that you're holding on to things because you want it your way, you realize that isn't quite right. I would rather submit this to the Lord and let him work on it and improve me in the process, just to know that I can trust him. How sweet it is to know that we can trust the Lord because he will not let us down and he will not fail us. So, mamas, when you are in your time of night, whether it's physically the nighttime or it's just a hard season of life, I encourage you to pick up trust in the Lord, humble yourself and lay down your stubbornness in case you have it like I do, because the Lord can work with a tender heart. It's a lot harder to work with a stiff neck and a hard heart. And I can assure you that when you soften yourself, God can mold you into the things that He wants to do for you and with you and through you. So, Mamas, tonight I want to pray for you just a short prayer before we go. Lord, I pray for these mamas and I pray for my own self too, that you would soften our hearts, that you would soften our necks, and we could lay down the hard-heartedness and the stubbornness and the selfish ways that we sometimes carry, and God, that in the exchange of that, we would give you our stiffness and you would mold us into what you want us to be as we soften for you. We love you, God. Thank you for making us mamas. In your name I pray. Amen. Mamas, God is doing something beautiful in our lives. We can trust him and lay down our own way. And right now I want to leave you with a blessing from number six, twenty four through twenty-six. May the Lord bless you and keep you, make his face to shine upon you, be gracious unto you, and give you peace. Amen. Until next time, Mamas, soften your heart and let him mold you the way he wants to. Take care. And we'll talk again soon.